THE WITCH’S APPRENTICE is the story of Charles Perry, a degenerate wastrel who doesn’t know that he is, in fact, a lost god.  He doesn’t know that he is The Lord, that he has power enough inside him to destroy the world then make it over again before breakfast.  The only thing Charles knows is that he could do with a good lay, a fresh drink, and something to dull the grisly nightmare he has whenever he shuts his eyes.   

When Charles hires a magician to get rid of his dark dream, the lost god is lit up like a sunset, and every dark force in this world and the next wants a piece of him: literally.  Only his brother the soldier, his lover the concubine, and a renegade witch stand between Charles and those who would use him to conquer and destroy.  But more than just the world is at stake, and there is more than one god in the world.  If Charles claims his power, he must also claim his identity.  He must remember all that he has forgotten, and the nightmare that disturbs his sleep must become the heartache that destroys his life.  If the Lord chooses to save the world, again, this time it will cost him his Lady.

I'm so close.  I'm SO CLOSE.  I think I have an opening paragraph.  I have a sort of build up and a twist.  Now I just need the BIG CHOICES wrap up with another twist at the end.

Of course, all I want to do is sit here and stare at Kiki and Fifi, Anna's fish, which I can see through the window of my office in her bedroom.  They're doing their nightly laps, in sync, back and forth across the front of the tank.  They're very graceful, and eerily coordinated.


And they will never, ever, ever have to write a query letter.  EVER. 

 I have the plot of my novel in algebraic form.  I don't think it proved anything at all except that my brain is seriously demented.

Well, okay, it's interesting, and not just in a "gee, look, I can do it" way.  Basically it starts with X is in N state and ends with Y in N state.  Which is bookendy.  And it tells me about book two, because clearly X and Y need a Z variable to manipulate.  

Innnnteresting.  

And yet, doesn't do A DAMN THING for the query.

Oh, just hell.  John Forbes Nash and the wall of post-its and newspaper clippings with weird codes is clearly next.

 Okay, I've figured out my conflict.  And I get why I have such problems writing a query.  I don't yet know how to write the query, but I know what the query needs to say, at least crudely.  It needs to read like this.


This X thing is the surface conflict.  
THe real conflict is Y, complicated by PRST.  (I'm still working on the latter half of the concept.)
So, there's a deus ex machina, except it's literal and not out of thin air.
(Segue to hot theme thing.)


I mean, the above is complete and utter crap.  But it's the concept I'm working on, and that really is my hangup.  There's a surface conflict, and then there's the real conflict.  The ACTUAL story is very simple: X is lost and can't find Z without taking over Y, but X can't take over Y, and meanwhile Y wants to kill X. Z saves X, and now X is not lost, but there's a cost.

Okay, that makes no sense either, but now I am thinking of using algebra to figure out the conflict.  Or maybe Logic.  Venn diagrams, anyone?

I am seeing a text-only Curio page full of Xs and Ys and Zs.  But first, the kitchen, the bed, and the laundry.

Today I am going to kick the query's ass.  And the synopsis, too.

I will also do laundry and make black bean soup, and buy a cat scratcher.  It's possible a toilet might get cleaned.  But the query is toast.  Totally toast.  

Rwar.